Sexual abuse is an undeniable and unfortunate reality of life. There are both predators and preys to this unnecessary and preventable crime upon our society. Too often, the occurrence is treated like a taboo secret or a skeleton that is tucked away in a closet somewhere while the victims feel like no one hears their cries, no one understands their pain, and no one can help or care. Without Permission puts roadblocks in front of that misconception by letting victims know that they are not alone; their voices need to be heard,
Sharon R. Wells through the dramatic recollection of her own personal experience; exploration of the voices of others; and motivational and inspirational supplication, sheds an illuminating light on a topic that is too often swept under a proverbial rug of denial and despair.
Without Permission is a gift of hope. It’s a source of deliverance for those in need of encouragement that they can move beyond being a victim to becoming victorious. This journey is a testimony illustrating that tears don’t have to last always and strength and healing comes from breaking the silence of abuse. Sharon R. Wells takes the taboo issue of Sexual Abuse from a position of guilt and shame, transforming it to a position of empowerment stemming from the perception and acknowledgment of self-acceptance and community awareness.
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Introduction (book excerpt)
Angels are real spiritual beings documented throughout the bible. They assume different forms and possess a wide range of missions and powers bestowed upon them by God. No matter what purpose they have, their presence in our lives is still a blessing from God. ~ Sharon R. Wells
Sexual abuse is an ongoing epidemic that destroys lives while leaving a residue of unrelenting hopelessness along the way. The physical act of abuse is agonizing for the victim, but the depth of emotional scarring caused by the infliction of pain can be felt long after the incident occurs or after the physical scars have healed. Victims often emotionally and mentally relive abuse which causes a trickling down effect in other areas of their lives; this makes the victim feel helpless to combat the resurfacing pain. One way to fight this growing problem among victims of abuse is by speaking up and out, using our voice as a weapon of defense against our attackers. We need to bring sexual abuse out of the dark and into the light in order to break the vicious cycle of abuse.
Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to have the courage to step up and point fingers at those who have abused us. The reality is that sexual abusers, more often than not, prey in their comfort zone; coveting that which is convenient and familiar. In many cases, the subjects of desire are people that have let the perpetrator into their life by either blood or by choice. They can be our closest relatives, friends or neighbors, people we know and love.
By the time I reached puberty, I’d been sexually molested three times by three different abusers. I was robbed of the time in life where I should have been enjoying the wonderment and carefree existence of being a child. Instead, I was forced into adult activities and adult choices. My abusers had not looked beyond their own selfish desires and needs long enough to give thought to the life-long scars they were causing me to physically and mentally endure.
I experienced many years of mental anguish before I was able to overcome the demons in my head and find inner peace. But now, I can thank God that through intense psychological and spiritual healing therapy, I have been able to finally take full control of my life and have also begun to heal. My heart now has the ability to forgive my abusers. Much more importantly, I have forgiven myself for what I thought I did to cause the abuse to happen in the first place. I am finally at a place where I no longer blame myself for what was done to me. Sadly enough, being victimized by any type of abuse robs the victims of their right to be carefree, healthy and otherwise happy. In many cases, the victim feels guilty and they suffer in shame. The emotional aftermath and issues that occur can last for the rest of their lives. There is hope, however, if the victim seeks help.
Living Beyond the Silence
Without question, child sexual abuse is a selfish, hidden, and ugly act that leaves the lives of victims shattered; not knowing where to turn next. The effects of child sexual abuse are long-term and severe. The branches of its poison are profound and rooted in traumatic childhood experiences, tainting the understanding of how healthy human relationships are formed. The saving grace is that healing from abuse is possible with the proper support, faith, determination, encouragement, and support.
Living Beyond the Silence is a powerful tool that will help victims come to terms with their past, while moving courageously and powerfully into their future. We can’t always control the things that happen to us, but we can control how we allow those events to direct the course of our lives.
Inspired by stories of courageous survivors who have broken free from their past and have taken steps to live beyond their silence, Sharon R. Wells-Simonson passes on a gift of hope and resources, helping others to move beyond the place of
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Chapter One (book excerpt)
Life is full of ups and downs. Some of the things that we endure on our journey, we can move on from; others – no matter how hard we try – we simply cannot get past. They linger and take on a life of their own, becoming baggage that we carry with us much longer than we probably should.
I have spent a lifetime trying to make sense of why my life has been weighed down for so long. Each time I began to self-analyze my thoughts, actions, and fears, I realized it all stemmed from the fact that I was tainted at such an early age. Baggage that I thought I had left in the past, was invisibly with me in every step I took. I questioned why God would allow something so horrific happen to me; something that ruined and sabotaged a big portion of my life. Was I a bad person? What had I done to warrant a lifetime of mental punishment? I shot those questions to God time and time again. It seemed to me that every childhood dream I had to be happy and successful was stolen from me. But why? And why couldn’t I just get over it?
As I looked back over my life, my future was derailed in childhood, and the derailment led to a sad and dark journey. The sexual abuse I experienced controlled and consumed every part of my being. It took away my self-confidence and my ability to believe in myself; and if I didn’t believe in myself, then who else would? I was doomed from the moment I was violated. I felt like I was nothing more than damaged and used goods. I looked for anything and anyone to validate me and to convince me that life was worth living. I needed someone to love me because I didn’t know how to love myself. These are the effects of sexual abuse. However, although I was a victim of sexual abuse, I was also a survivor. It took many years of suffering before I was able to own that title and find the strength and courage to change the direction of my life.