By the time I reached puberty, I’d been sexually molested three times by three different abusers. I was robbed of the time in life where I should have been enjoying the wonderment and carefree existence of being a child. Instead, I was forced into adult activities and adult choices. My abusers had not looked beyond their own selfish desires and needs long enough to give thought to the life-long scars they were causing me to physically and mentally endure.
I experienced many years of mental anguish before I was able to overcome the demons in my head and find inner peace. But now, I can thank God that through intense psychological and spiritual healing therapy, I have been able to finally take full control of my life and have also begun to heal. My heart now has the ability to forgive my abusers. Much more importantly, I have forgiven myself for what I thought I did to cause the abuse to happen in the first place. I am finally at a place where I no longer blame myself for what was done to me. Sadly enough, being victimized by any type of abuse robs the victims of their right to be carefree, healthy and otherwise happy. In many cases, the victim feels guilty and they suffer in shame. The emotional aftermath and issues that occur can last for the rest of their lives. There is hope, however, if the victim seeks help.
Having been a victim of sexual abuse myself, I now realize that the abuse robbed me of the healthy, positive self-image that was always my birthright. It also stripped me of my dignity and left me with feelings of guilt and shame. I felt unworthy of being treated like a normal human being. There have been many times when I’ve wanted to crawl out of my own skin because of the repulsive and degrading feelings I had about myself.
For many years, I used drugs to help me temporarily escape the thoughts and memories that were tormenting me. When the lure of drugs no longer suppressed those embedded wounds, I had no choice but to completely surrender my life to God. I had to become completely ready to put the drugs and self-destructive behavior I practiced every day behind me.
I had face the harsh reality that the abuse was controlling, defeating and destroying my life. I no longer wanted to be a victim and knew I needed to reach out for help.
We cannot erase the past, but there’s hope for a brighter future.
Please visit our Prevention & Awareness page to find resources that will help you move from victim to survivor.